A theoretical guide to starting our farm commune

Starting the Commune

The idea of starting a commune has captured hearts for centuries. In every generation, people feel the call to step away from the isolation and competition of modern life and toward something more connected, cooperative, and meaningful. For some, it’s about creating a safe and healthy place for themselves and their children to grow up. For others, it’s about lowering the cost of living and pooling resources. For many, it’s about building resilience and living in harmony with the land and each other.

But good intentions alone aren’t enough. The history of communes is full of groups that started with passion and vision, only to fracture under the weight of unspoken expectations, unclear boundaries, or financial strain. If you want to create a community that lasts, you must approach it with both heart and structure.

This guide offers a roadmap: a mix of practical advice and visionary perspective. It’s about the hard work of putting numbers on paper and the soulful work of building trust and patience. It’s about protecting the harmony of a group while leaving room for growth and change.

Here are five pillars to starting a commune that can truly thrive:

1. Finding Your People

2. Building Mutual Understanding

3. Finding the Right Spot

4. Adjusting the Plan

5. Working Towards the Goal Together

   
   

1. Finding Your People

Every commune begins with people. It may start with a conversation around a fire, a shared frustration about the cost of housing, or a dream whispered between friends: “What if we just bought land and built something together?” That spark is important, but it is only the beginning.

The people you choose to build with will determine everything. They will be your neighbors, coworkers, business partners, and—if it works—your lifelong chosen family. It is not enough to simply gather friends you enjoy spending time with. Living together, sharing money, and raising children side by side will test bonds in ways most friendships never experience.

Money Will Be the Sticking Point

You need to accept this truth from the start: money will always become a sticking point. Even among close friends, money can create tension, resentment, or mistrust if it is not handled with transparency. The groups that succeed are the ones who treat money not as a taboo subject but as the foundation of the community.

That doesn’t mean everyone has to be wealthy. In fact, many successful communes are built by people of modest means. But it does mean everyone must be willing to talk openly about what they can and cannot contribute, and to accept that financial input will shape the group’s options and that openness, consistency and long-term stability are of the upmost importance.

The Group Is the Foundation

Beyond money, you need people who can balance vision with work ethic. The dreamers who see possibilities and the doers who show up with a shovel in hand. The best groups are those where different strengths complement one another: the farmer, the builder, the organizer, the creative, the caretaker.

But no matter the roles, everyone must be willing to contribute. A commune is not a place where some work while others coast. That imbalance will destroy trust faster than anything else.

Ask yourself honestly:

• Do these people respect each other’s needs and boundaries?

• Are they open-minded and adaptable, or do they cling to control?

• Do they know when they are being selfish, and can they own it?

• Can I imagine growing old with them?

• Would I want my children raised alongside theirs?

  
  

If the answer is “yes,” you may have found your people. If the answer is “maybe,” keep testing the waters before you commit.

2. Building Mutual Understanding

Once you’ve gathered your core group, the next step is to build mutual understanding. This is where many well-meaning communities stumble. Without clarity, assumptions creep in, and assumptions lead to conflict.

The tool that can help most is a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU). Think of it as a living agreement — not necessarily a legal contract carved in stone, but a clear, written document that everyone contributes to and agrees upon. The MOU should be reexamined once per year. This should consist of a MOU questionnaire filled out by each member individually, a consolidation of all the questionnaire data and then community meetings to review the data, and adjust the MOU as necessary.

Why an MOU Matters

An MOU makes the invisible visible. It brings to the surface all the little details that, if ignored, can turn into dealbreakers later. It creates a shared record of commitments, boundaries, and responsibilities. And perhaps most importantly, it forces the group to confront uncomfortable questions before they become crises.

Financial Clarity: The Range Approach

The first and most critical part of your MOU should address finances. Without clarity here, resentment is inevitable. One powerful method is the Range Approach:

1. Each member lists their comfortable minimum contribution — usually 50–75% of what they can truly afford without strain.

2. Each member lists their comfortable maximum contribution — the most they can give without strain and without creating resentment or hardship.

3. Add all the minimums together. Add all the maximums together. These two numbers form the community’s financial range — the realistic low and high ends of what the group can collectively contribute each month.

   
   

This range becomes your compass. If your expenses fall within the range, you’re safe. If they consistently exceed it, you need to either expand income streams or rethink your plans.

Building Communal Income

The dream of many communes is to eventually free themselves from outside jobs. The path there is communal business ventures. Whether it’s farming, retreats, crafts, or services, the key is to treat these businesses as seriously as any traditional investment:

• What’s the expected return on investment (ROI)?

• Is it sustainable for 5–10 years?

• What risks could sink it?

• Does everyone agree to support it with skills, labor, or synergy?

  
  

A communal business should never be built on vague enthusiasm alone. It should be vetted, tested, and treated as the financial engine that will carry the group forward.

Rules and Boundaries

The MOU should also include boundaries and rules, written not as restrictions but as protections of harmony. Examples include:

• Visitor policies (sign-ins, limits on stay length, clarity about when a guest becomes a resident).

• Quiet hours to protect rest.

• Spaces for nudity or activities that not all members may want in shared areas.

• Chore and cleaning rotations.

• Substance use agreements.

• Conflict resolution processes (e.g., mediation steps before major decisions).

  
  

Long-Term Perspective

Finally, your mutual understanding must recognize that people change. Children grow up, people age, circumstances shift. What works in year one may need revisiting in year five. The MOU should be treated as a living document, revisited regularly, and adjusted with respect.

3. Finding the Right Spot

With people aligned and mutual understanding in place, you can finally look for land. This is where the vision becomes tangible — and where big mistakes can be made.

Land is not just dirt. It’s water, soil quality, access to markets, zoning, neighbors, and climate. It’s where your kids will play, where your food will grow, where your community will build its future.

Using the Range to Guide You

Start with your financial range. How much land can you afford without overextending? Don’t let the dream blind you into buying property that will constantly strain the group’s finances.

At the same time, avoid settling for the cheapest land if it doesn’t meet your needs. A bargain property without water rights, arable soil, or access to jobs will cost more in stress than it saves in dollars.

Questions to Ask When Choosing Land

• Do we have reliable water access for drinking, irrigation, and animals?

• Is the soil healthy, or will it take years of amendment or repair to grow safe food?

• Is the land flat enough for farming, or does it suit forestry or animal husbandry better?

• How close are we to towns, schools, and hospitals?

• Are we surrounded by supportive neighbors, or people who might fight us every step?

• What are the zoning laws? Can we legally build, host retreats, or operate businesses here? Can we get away with some zoning grey areas and how do others feel about this?

  
  

Think for the Next Generation

Remember that you’re not just buying land for today. You’re planting roots for decades. Think about where you’d want to raise children, where you’d want to grow old, and what kind of legacy you want to leave.

4. Adjusting the Plan

No matter how much you plan, reality will demand adjustments. Every commune will face surprises:

• A member loses a job.

• A business plan flops.

• Guests overstay their welcome.

• A chore system doesn’t work.

• Someone’s personal needs shift dramatically.

Needing to adjust is not failure - This is community.

Flexibility as a Survival Skill

The difference between groups that survive and groups that collapse is flexibility. If you treat your original plan as sacred, every change will feel like a betrayal. If you treat your plan as a framework that evolves, you’ll grow stronger with each challenge.

Adjusting doesn’t mean compromising your vision. It means finding new ways to honor it when life changes. Sometimes that means reshaping financial contributions. Sometimes it means revising visitor policies. Sometimes it means making space for new ideas that no one thought of at the beginning.

Conflict as a Teacher

When conflict arises — and it will — use it as a teacher. Disagreement handled with respect can actually deepen trust. But only if your group has agreed-upon methods for resolution. This is why the MOU matters so much: it provides a roadmap for navigating conflict without falling apart.

5. Working Towards the Goal Together

At its heart, a commune is not about land or money. It’s about people committing to live, grow, and thrive together. It is about creating a culture that will carry the group through decades, not just months.

Cultivating Qualities

For a commune to last, its members must cultivate qualities that make community possible:

• Patience, because progress will be slower than you imagine.

• Love, because relationships are the glue.

• Resilience, because the outside world will not always understand.

• Thoughtfulness, because small actions ripple.

• Consideration, because selfishness poisons trust.

• Hard work, because dreams demand sweat.

• Passion, because without it the grind will feel empty.

• Health, because the group is only as strong as its weakest member.

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Building for Children and the Future

Perhaps the most powerful motivation is building a better world for our kids. Communes are not just for today — they’re for the next generation. They’re spaces where children can grow up surrounded by cooperation, kindness, and stability. Spaces where they can see examples of adults living not just for themselves but for one another.

Becoming an Example

Finally, remember that your commune doesn’t exist in isolation. It is part of a larger movement toward intentional living, sustainability, and community. Done well, your project can inspire neighbors, friends, and even strangers who see that another way of life is possible.

Conclusion

Starting a commune is not easy. It asks more of you than renting an apartment or buying a house alone. It demands honesty, patience, and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths. But it also offers rewards that few other lifestyles can match: deep belonging, resilience, shared joy, and the chance to raise the next generation in a healthier way.

If you can find your people, build mutual understanding, choose your land wisely, adapt your plan, and keep working together toward the long vision, you won’t just be starting a commune. You’ll be planting the seeds of a world worth living in.

By DJ Parson